I am a Facebook addict

I am a Facebook addict. Click like if you're one too! Let’s see how many Facebook addicts we have here.

I couldn’t bring myself to eat my PacMan nacho

I couldn't bring myself to eat my PacMan nacho......just gonna keep him around in case we have any ghosts.

I Just got a haircut

I Just got a haircut, but didn't get my expected results....guess I'm gonna have to start phase two of my weight loss plan.

The reason I can't catch my breath from the laughter

The reason I can't catch my breath from the laughter is that I'm PRETTY sure during Iron Man, when Robert Downey gets back from his captivity, they give him Burger King Burgers. Why can't people have their real names on Facebook? What am I supposed to call you at a con, your stupid Facebook name? If I can hear you making Boston marathon jokes from three tables away, do not sneer at me when I give you dirty look. Expect it.

I want a cute girlfriend right now

I want a cute girlfriend right now because girls are way better to kiss than boys.

Being an adult means I can eat a whole bag of chocolate

Being an adult means I can eat a whole bag of chocolate pretzels and gummy Life Savers and also drink a bunch of orange pop. It also means I should probably learn from the resulting stomach ache not to do that again.

No, no, the government shutting down

No, no, the government shutting down doesn't mean you don't have to wear pants. I completely understand where you're coming from, and I feel for you, but pants have to be worn. There are children out there, okay.

I like the concept of Pinterest

I like the concept of Pinterest, but feel too girly to use it, so I'm creating Menterest for us guys that want share our ideas.

I know some ladies like the guys with great abs

I know some ladies like the guys with great abs, nice eyes, big muscles, and various other physical attributes, but for you ladies looking for a guy with clean ears, my customer rocking the used Q-tip behind his ear is quite a catch.....I'm sure he would be a great listener.

There are many reasons we keep a 68 ounce bottle

There are many reasons we keep a 68 ounce bottle of hand sanitize behind the counter, the customer who just cleaned his ear with one of his keys is a prime example.

I know times are tight but the man in front

I know times are tight but the man in front of me dumping his garbage out of the bag and keeping the bag is just a bit extreme. Before anyone asks it wasn't Wayne.

I just thought of this cute comic where a zombie

I just thought of this cute comic where a zombie is pinning something and they pull away to discover that they've just pinned through their finger, and they let out a very zombie groan. The inspiration was me pinning something and almost pinning my finger to the fabric.

I'm inventing a device that blocks Cialis

I'm inventing a device that blocks Cialis commercials from playing while your daughters are in the room.

Hope your Monday pool league

Hope your Monday pool league, Tuesday dart league, Wednesday volleyball games, Thursday drunk league, Friday loser league, Saturday P.O.S club, and Sunday fun day make you feel whole!